


Lies

by Rey_Bee



Series: For the love of the Uchiha [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Abandonment, Apologies, Big Brother Uchiha Itachi, Big Brothers, Brotherhood, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Death, Gen, Guilt, Hatred, Idealism, Lies, Little Brothers, Manipulation, Memories, One Shot, Other, POV Uchiha Itachi, Sad, Treason, Uchiha Itachi-centric, Uchiha Massacre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25097143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rey_Bee/pseuds/Rey_Bee
Summary: Lies. That’s what Itachi’s life was. But it took him too long to understand and admit it.
Relationships: Uchiha Fugaku & Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke
Series: For the love of the Uchiha [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754959
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Lies

**Author's Note:**

> So today I felt like writing something about Itachi's guilt. Enjoy;)

* * *

”Itachi, just promise me this”

“…”

“Take care of Sasuke.”

Unwelcome tears gathered under the eyelids of a thirteen-years-old boy when he heard a dying wish spoken by his father. He couldn’t see his lips nor his eyes. The man was kneeling on tatami mats facing the opposite wall with his back to his son.

One tear after another fell from dark, big eyes, wetting fair cheeks. There was no way to keep them in check… not anymore. The boy clenched his jaws, forcing a sob to stay in his throat.

“I will.”

 _Lies_. What an incredible _lie_. In five minutes he was going to abandon his little brother forever. He would tell him _lies_ and only _lies_ , everything so his innocent soul would hate the monster who wiped out their entire family and their clan.

“Our philosophies may differ, but I am still proud of you. You are truly a kind child.”

 _LIES_. His father’s words were hardly audible from behind a mess of self-blaming cries inside Itachi’s head. _Lies_.

His hands were shaking to the point that he almost dropped the sword… A blade, scarlet, sticky and soaking with blood of hundreds of Uchihas. No. _No_. He needed to finish this. Either he finished this now or he would never bring himself to execute this cruel order. _Kill them!_

Kill them…

When he opened his eyes there were only corpses lying on red, _red_ mats in the dark room. His whole body shook, jumping back against his will and hiding in the darkest corner of the room.

Soft steps of a child echoed in the empty corridors of the Uchiha manor. Itachi froze when the door moved oh-so-very-slowly, revealing a scared, fragile boy who widened his big, _big_ black eyes of his mother at the sight of two dead bodies sprawled across the floor.

He needed to put it all together or all of this would be for _nothing_. He raised himself from the floor and made quiet steps forward, letting the moonlight illuminate his silhouette.

“Nii-san…!”

_Lies…_

“…test my limits…the brother you adored…”

_Lies._

“..you’re not even worth killing…”

 _LIES_.

“…kill your closest friend…”

LIES!

“One day when you have the same eyes as I, come and face me.”

LIES! LIES! LIES!!!

He left Sasuke unconscious in the middle of the main street, swallowing his own tears. He had three person to see before he left for good. And then the hell would end.

_Lies._

* * *

No. It was too soon. _Too soon_.

Sasuke was not ready. He lacked power, he lacked conviction. If he charged at him right now…

_No. Sasuke…_

“ITACHI!!!”

_NO. You are not ready, Sasuke. Not yet..!_

“I’VE TRAINED LIKE YOU TOLD ME!...”

_Don’t, little brother. Just don’t._

“I WILL KILL YOU!...”

_DON’T!_

But he did. With his left hand stretched out and covered with lightning, he took off towards him. Itachi caught his thin forearm with little effort, forcing the electricity to die down. Sasuke’s eyes betrayed a slight glimmer of panic just before a loud, sickening sound of a breaking bone rolled over the corridor.

Sasuke’s hand broke. And with it, Itachi’s heart as well.

_I’m sorry. But I need to do this…_

With his jaw clenched, he kicked his little brother to the wall. He slowly approached and punched Sasuke’s face, feeling a twist in his guts with every blow he delivered.

“You are too weak because you lack hatred…”

 _LIES_.

_I’m sorry… I have to…_

He let his eyes bleed into sharingan-red and pulled his brother into a world of endless murder and screams. A bloodcurdling cry escaped from Sasuke’s throat and Itachi could see both his unmoving twelve-years-old form and a child watching his family being killed over and over… and over again.

_You’re not even worth killing…_

He left the eight-years-old Sasuke alone in the world of Tsukuyoumi, unable to stay there any longer himself.

_Forgive me, Sasuke…I’m sorry…_

_Lies.._.

* * *

Those two big, _big_ eyes of their mother were watching him with pure horror when he approached him with unsteady, short steps. Sasuke stumbled backwards and flattened on a wall with the Uchiha crest painted diagonally, pale and old. Forgotten and cursed like the two of them, like the clan they belonged to.

His consciousness was fading away too fast. _No_. He would not just collapse there. An internal battle against himself, against his own convictions and values was giving him strength to make just one step more and more…

And one more…

There was nothing left but a desperate urge to tell Sasuke _everything_. What would it change… His brother… Sasuke… he _deserved to know_. Was this what dying was like? He could see an eight-years-old Sasuke smiling at him when he came back from a mission. His mother caressing his cheek and wiping his tears after his genin team died. His father winking at him with half-smile from behind the Uchiha elders who warned him not to slack just because he made genin in one year. Shisui sticking out his tongue at him when he beat him in their race for the last dango…

Is this how _dying_ feels like…?

His hand stretched towards terrified Sasuke. _No._ He couldn’t. Sasuke could not know about anything and Itachi understood it very well. So _why_ was it suddenly so hard to keep his mouth shut…? Was a dying man truly so weak, so weak that he couldn’t keep the promises he made to himself…? So weak he was keen to question each and every value he held dear…?

_Was he sorry…?_

NO, Sasuke couldn’t know.

“Forgive me, Sasuke…”

He couldn’t know…

“There won’t be another time.”

_He couldn’t know…_

_Lies._

* * *

_I will tell you the whole truth. There is no need to LIE anymore._

Sasuke’s features quivered when he willingly entered his genjutsu. All the _lies_ uncovered and clear now. _Because there was no need to lie anymore_.

Itachi watched his brother’s soft face, devouring his features with every remaining bit of consciousness. Would he remember his life when _Edo Tensei_ dispersed for good..?

Was his life even _worth_ remembering?

To think he needed to be revived to admit something he always knew. Something he always felt deep, _deep_ down, at the very bottom of his heart. Loyalty, sense of duty, sense of mission… It always covered and held back _guilt_ and awareness that all of this, everything he has done to his brother was just _wrong_ and _not worth it_.

He was so desperate to waste his life for the sake of peace. He gave himself up so that Konoha would survive and the Uchiha were not remembered as a clan of traitors. But at what cost…?

Somewhere in the process he wasted his brother’s life as well.

 _He had no right to_.

Sasuke didn’t understand it yet. So far he only blamed the Council members who used _his big brother_ to execute _his family_ and destroy _their lives_ forever.

 _Lies_. They did not destroy Sasuke’s life. Itachi did.

But they did not have enough time to explain everything. So Itachi tangled his fingers in his little brother’s spiky hair and touched Sasuke’s forehead with his own, holding back the tears. _Can reanimated people cry?_

“You don’t ever have to forgive me. And whatever you do from here on out, know this: no matter what, I will love you _always_.”

_One day lies will not be enough anymore... You will understand with time, little brother, how much I hurt you. By then I will be long gone… So remember these words… The dying wish of your big brother…_

_And maybe one day you will be able to bring yourself to say once again that you love me._

**Author's Note:**

> That's how I see things. I believe Itachi is responsible (at least partly) for Sasuke's wasted life. It doesn't mean that he can't be forgiven, he was thirteen after all... but he could change his mind earlier, right? Tell me how you see it:)


End file.
